May 2012
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Friday Post: Summer and YOU- An Informational...
Hello. Good to see you, and Happy Friday. Now, if you sit down we can get started. You may feel a cold sensation when we attach the electrodes to your skin, and a brief tingling when we begin introducing the Friday Post into your system. There’ll be some mild discomfort when the sarcasm starts to bond to your meninges: the best thing to do is try to relax. The entire process should only take...
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Friday Post: The Avengers 2- Let's Get A Vengeance
We’ve done it again, everyone who didn’t die this week! We made it to another Friday. This post is dedicated to everyone who died between last Friday and now: the millions of innocent people whose lives were claimed by illness, hunger, and personal catastrophe… and even to the people who deserved to die. Yeah, I’m GOING there: this post is also dedicated to everyone who...
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April 2012
1 post
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Friday Post: Back From The Beyond
The fresh scents of dew and coffee sweeten the springtime air. Peter Pianisimo charts the quickest way out of the office on a stolen fire escape plan. Your phone buzzes with life as texts loaded with movie showtimes crisscross the cellular cyberscape.
-excerpt from “Friday,” by Darrel Krack
What? Who? Wh- wha-?
Close your mouth, you gibbering fool. Your eyes deceive you not: the...
February 2012
2 posts
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January 2012
8 posts
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Friday Edition: Go Go Power Hoodies/The "P" In...
Braught to you by the letter F, the letter E’s twin brother who stepped on a landmine in ‘Nam.
JANUARY 27th, 2013.
This Friday Edition is being beamed to your eyes from my cousins’ house, where I am dog-sitting their rambunctious three-month-old German Shepherd while they’re away for the weekend. The pup has already tried to pull my laptop off the table and eat it....
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Friday Edition: I'm On The Zebra's...
Friday, YOU’RE here!?
JANUARY 20th, 2011.
I’ve got the Today Show on right now, as I am wont to do on Friday morning while I sit in the kitchen and write this post, and I can tell it’s a slow news day already: the banner at the bottom of the screen reads “ZEBRA BITES WOMAN AT TEXAS RANCH.” The woman is being interviewed right now, and they’ve got video and...
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The Rise of the New Groupthink →
Conjure in your mind the dreadful moment when a teacher turns away from the board or podium and out from their lips dribble like a frothy poison the words “alright, now we’re going to form groups…” -the rest of the sentence doesn’t matter. It’s all downhill from there, for that noble educator has loosed from their arsenal that most unappetizing way to kill class...
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Friday Edition: Snowcrow!/Sashae Fiercae/Vote 4...
I love the smell of Friday in the morning.
JANUARY 13, 2012.
It’s not just any old Friday, ladies and gentlemen: today is Friday the 13th. I personally suffer from explicatriskaidekaphobia, which is a very real and debilitating fear that some fool in my life is going to take today as an opportunity to show off that the word “triskaidekaphobia” is part of their vocabulary. I...
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Friday Edition: The Coming Of Manshark / You Got...
It’s January 6th, 2012. The Friday sun / o’er the eastern ridge it rides / and funny News Stories come beside.
It’s the first Friday of the year 2012! How are your resolutions going? Are you skinny yet?
Of course not. Unless you ingested some rare, hyper-metabolic worm which is hijacking your intestines as you read these very words, you’ve probably got at least...
December 2011
10 posts
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Friday Edition: ME SO NEW YEAR!
The coming of Friday: it’s an Auld Lang Sign of the Apocalypse!!!
If you’re living in Samoa, then you’re totally boned, because they are skipping Friday this year. Yes, you read that right: a whole country is skipping your favorite day of the week so they can change time zones to match their neighbors’. How will those poor Samoans read the Friday Edition? It will just...
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Friday Edition: Switched At Virgin Birth/You...
Up on the rooftop, reindeer pause / down comes good old Friday Claus.
God rest ye merry gentlemen, let nothing you dismay, for today is the last Friday Edition before Christmas! Christmas… what an institution that is. Uh oh! Better watch myself, for this is a merry day, and I must take care not to let the seething hatred of the Christmas season tear the already-stretched lining of my soul...
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Friday Edition: America's Got Stern/Lego's Got...
Oh come, all ye faithful, Friday is upon us!
Well, well, if it isn’t you again. Here to read all of my secrets, to delve into my mind mines and plunder the deep caverns of my consciousness? By all means, keep reading… the echoes of my brainwaves resonate between the winding lines of text herein, and your own mind will be overwhelmed by mine as a tiny pond is overwhelmed when an...
Anonymous asked: wabi sabi?
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Friday Edition: Kids Kan't Kelebrate Kristmas In...
Friday, a day which will live in famy!
I’d like to open this Friday Edition with a quote from my mom:
“Richmond- are you watching the Today Show? There’s this band of five kids on and they’re called The Browns. They were on the show yesterday. It was funny because they were all playing this beautiful Christmas music on these five big pianos all together, and it was...
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Friday Edition: A Yuletide Pilgrimage That Wends...
Hark, the herald blogger sings: there will not be a real Friday Edition this week, because I am on my way to New Hampshire (the “live free or die” state) as we speak. Yes, that means that I am typing this out on the Tumblr app on my iPhone in the backseat of a car. It’s no luxury, and yet it’s better than just leaving my dedicated blogronauts guessing where the Friday...
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November 2011
46 posts
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The South Park Alien Mystery! A Television Trivia... →
Did you know that there’s an alien hidden in every episode of South Park, ever!? Of course you didn’t; you’ve been too enthralled by your Bible studies to notice anything.
Don’t worry, champ: the Internet will do the worrying for you. As it happens, someone has gone through the trouble of compiling a good number of the aforementioned alien Easter Eggs. Click the link above...
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Friday Edition: Wash Your Turkey Down With...
It’s Black Friday, 2011, and the cloud of the sin of greed roils above our heads like an eldritch Lord come incarnate… it’s time for the Friday Edition!
Ah, Black Friday. Although most things earn the title “black” by association with the dark forces and great loss of life (the Black Plague, Tyler Perry comedies), in America we style certain days as...
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The 12 Most Baffling Genres of Stock Photos,... →
You’ve never thought to wonder, have you?
This delightful bit comes from Cracked. Thanks, Cracked… Thracked.
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Happy #$%@day!
We should just bleep out the word Monday.
The weekend is over. Tell me, mortals: how does it feel to know that no amount of willpower, prayer, or hope you can possibly squeeze out of your always-dying spirit will ever be able to turn back time?
Haha! It’s always fun to start a Monday out with a horrible thought like that. The first day of the workweek is inevitably depressing, so you...
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Friday Edition: The Frilight Zone/POP Pop......
You’re rushing through the jungle when a wild Friday appears…
Welcome. Welcome to a strange and wonderful dimension of unimaginable delights and terrible perils; a land you cannot perceive with your eyes or ears, but with senses untold of in all the volumes of mankind’s science; a place between the waking world and the realm of phantoms. Welcome, to Mondofacture’s Friday...
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Two's Day
Get it? It sounds just like “Tuesday.”
Who’s in the mood for some blog? I know I am. Look: I know I didn’t post anything yesterday, and no, it was not because I was playing Skyrim all day. It was because I was busy with other things.
Does anyone know where I can get a human taxidermied?
Nevermind. Welcome to Tuesday, the milky, vanilla day of the week between the most...
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Friday Edition: Jerry "Papa Soapy" Sandusky/A Trip...
I love the smell of Friday in the morning… smells like… victory.
What a week it’s been, what with all this Penn State football pedophilia business. You know, with all the ass-slapping that goes forgiven and forgotten in football, are we really so surprised that fans of America’s most thigh-humpingest, tights-wearingest sport have been led to such a dark place?
...
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